Quite possibly my favourite ever blog post by Esther Walker on Recipe Rifle is 'Nigella's Mexican Lasagne.' If you've never read it then I really advise you do, because it's something I often look back on when I'm in an (unvoiced) mood with my boyfriend and the recipe is really very nice.
The gist of the blog is that a relationship is a balancing act; that both parties do really irritating things and really nice, lovely things. So when things get out of control, or something particularly irritates you can look back on your list and re-balance your feelings.
So here's my list.
Some annoying things my boyfriend does:
- He will randomly, after a room being in the same state it has been in for days, massively freak out and declare it impossibly messy to the point he cannot even be in the room and start striding around the house banging doors and things. He does not, however, tidy it up.
- Bite his nails to the point that he does not actually have nails, just messy finger stubs. And then borrow my nails for everything (taking a sticker off something, scratching, picking a penny off the floor etc.) Sometimes without asking.
- Ask for a foot massage constantly but refuse for me to clip his toe nails.
Here are some annoying things I do:
- Fail to listen to what he's saying properly and making up the end of his sentence in my head, and then arguing a completely different point to the one he is trying to make.
- Cry constantly over everything. Sad things, happy things, nothing at all.
- Throw up whenever there is something mouldy or gone off (or potentially gone off food, I once threw up because a bag was squidgy. When Gareth later investigated it was actually a sock.) and refuse point blank to have anything to do with it.
- Sexual innuendo. Constantly.
Here are some lovely things he does:
- Clears out the vegetable drawer, and the fridge and particularly disgusting pans so I don't have to. (See my third annoying point.)
- Makes all the horrible telephone calls (e.g. to Sky, to the council.) and is brilliant at them.
- Puts up with me snoring all night, especially when I'm drunk.
- Tells me point blank we're not going shopping or to the cinema or something else I'm trying to persuade myself to do despite feeling like shit, because he can see I'm feeling rubbish.
- Doesn't nag about my general lack of job/money.
Here are some lovely things I do:
- I will give him a massage pretty much whenever he asks, which is often.
- Remember birthdays and plan presents and cards.
- I always make sure there is loo roll and towels in the bathroom.
- Ensure all the bills are paid, and budget all the money so we don't run out towards the end of the month.
- Drive him to work and pick him up when it's obscenely early in the morning (6am) or pitch black or raining.
So that's my list. Do you have one?